the seat of our deepest feelings

“Birth is a very special event in the sexual life as a woman. It is a time when you are transformed: you become a mother; you give birth to another human being. This great opening of the womb happens only once or a few times in your life…Your womb is the seat of your deepest feelings.”

Janet Balaskas
Active Birth


Opening is hard.

Uncertainty is our companion. Fear is understandable. And yet, the call of Life asks that we allow ourselves to experience the fullness of birth. In this great opening of the womb, we are raw. Our animal nature will prevail if we let it. We squat, we howl, we rut. We are fully in the moment and wholly consumed by the force of Life that takes over our bodies, our souls, our minds. In birth our power as creators is made manifest.

We participate in a profound transformation. We are giving birth, but we are also being born. Our cries in labor herald another birth – that of a new mother coming forth into the world. We, too, emerge from the fleshy folds of the Great Womb. We are wet with her juices and breathless in this new land.

Once we arrive at this moment, there is no turning back.

A Turkey Hero and A Birthing Room

When I arrived at the hospital I went to the floor of the birthing center. The nurse told me I had my pick of rooms. By that time I was tired. So I walked into the closest one and laid down. My midwife Colleen came in - she was shocked to find me already there. Bob eventually arrived with all the trappings I thought I would need. In the end, I neither needed nor wanted any of them.

To hear Bob tell it, I spent my labor in a hot tub. First I walked and walked the corridors working to keep the labor progressing. I occassionally got into the jacuzzi. Bob, as is typical, was busier thinking about food then the impending birth of his child. He went to a deli and got himself a turkey hero and me chicken noodle soup. I tried to eat a little but just couldn't. He on the other hand had no appetite suppression issues. At the time of his dining, I was really feeling my contractions and they hurt. By this time it was probably 2pm. I had been in labor since 5am and had been traipsing across the whole city! Bob was more interested in his sandwich than the other happening in the birthing room. And then? I lost it. I lost it big time.

From my place in the jacuzzi where I was trying to lessen the impact of the contractions, I screamed, "This is not a F&*%!ng Yankee game for God's sake! Get over here right now and look at me. Do not take your eyes off of me!"

Bob promptly did exactly what he was told. There was a smirk on his face but at least he complied with my wishes. He demonstrated his love by leaving the turkey hero on the table.