Still Thinking About Maiden to Mother

As a society we do not hold the mother as she finds her way through the place in between maiden and mother. This is far too grand a transformation to do it alone. And yet, for so many of us we are left to feebly grope in the darkness.

We are unindated by society and its messages that make it harder to find our way home to ourselves. As a friend said - "We are expected to go back to work, look the same - be thin and all together."

It is as if nothing happened and yet our entire beings have changed. No one wants to know our story now that the baby is here. It is a vessel experience. I am the container for Max but who is containing me? That is where a community of women can hold the sacred space for each other -honoring our moments of despair, hopelessness, joy, and euphoria.

I too was born when Max entered the world. I was not a mother until I pushed him through the walls of my being and he emerged wet, slippery and screaming. In that moment I knew it was just the beginning.

My quiet moments with him were precious when he was a baby and continue to be now that he is a boy. I love to read to him and nestle in the bed together singing songs off key. I have always played with him differently than his father. It is not a rowdy and rough type of play. It is quieter and more solitary. I was never a rowdy physical kid - how could I be expected to give that to my son? I can only give him what I have.